non-apologetic

i feel free-flowing sadness. i find my phone empty and useless. not just a sense of mourning, loneliness, anger, love, resentment, fear and regret - today marks a turning point in my life.

before, we made it thru our issues. it was great. he wss very loving, kind, upbeat, generous and caring.

it's funny how he has the gall to give your engagement an "ultimatum." what the hell kind of word is that, anyways? "i need world peace in the form of our parents both getting along to happen before we get married so i can find my true happiness." my reply could either go one of both ways: "would you like fries with that?" or "kiss my ass no way of that happening because of your prissy/scrappy attitude and non-apologetic behavior."

that rarely happens in real life.

i have given you so much of myself. not complaining- but i guess it wasn't enough. you wouldn't even take the idea of just us two getting married. you want the whole fairytale package. sometimes i wish i could have been all my family members- so you could like and get along with us. i guess i'm not enough for you to even overshadow all the challenges my mom and you have.

my mom only wanted the best for me. she had the right to question your intent, even after the fact. it happens to everybody.

if you had respect for your future MIL, you would have the decency to heed her wish to not invite her sister who accuses her of many grave things to our wedding - even if she was your aunt - not put salt on her wounds by force inviting her. she was really hurt when you did that. you just had to butt in with a topacio fight. you have never seen a confrontation and you never want to. you repeatedly misconstrue my mother's avoidance of talking with teng as pride. but no, it's ironically for peace. teng came to our house once, not to apologize but to act all haughty and act up again. oh well, that doesn't matter anymore now, huh?

words are provoked by actions.

if you were genuinely nice, you would sweep any animosity with your future mil, under the rug and not drag it out. you would be chill and fly under the radar for the sake of the one you love(d).

if you demand your future mil to say sorry and thank you to you all the time, maybe i should print out those words and laminate it.

so many ifs. but i'm not surprised this happened, knowing you. hard-headed, over-analytical, immature, over-bearing at times. rarely takes constructive criticism. his way or the highway. maybe it's a blessing in disguise we never got married.

maybe i pray not for you to understand where i'm coming from, but for you to have the life afforded to you by God, with whomever you deserve.