life can be traumatic baby
keep your head still
take a deep breathe
i'll get you a pill
and when the pain is too much to bear
forever loss can never compare
lemme wipe your tears
no need to choke
run my hands through your hair
there still is hope
get better love...
Friday, September 30, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
wow so awesome :)
2nd reading
Rv 12:7-12ab
War broke out in heaven;
Michael and his angels battled against the dragon.
The dragon and its angels fought back,
but they did not prevail
and there was no longer any place for them in heaven.
The huge dragon, the ancient serpent,
who is called the Devil and Satan,
who deceived the whole world,
was thrown down to earth,
and its angels were thrown down with it.
Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say:
"Now have salvation and power come,
and the Kingdom of our God
and the authority of his Anointed.
For the accuser of our brothers is cast out,
who accuses them before our God day and night.
They conquered him by the Blood of the Lamb
and by the word of their testimony;
love for life did not deter them from death.
Therefore, rejoice, you heavens,
Michael and his angels battled against the dragon.
The dragon and its angels fought back,
but they did not prevail
and there was no longer any place for them in heaven.
The huge dragon, the ancient serpent,
who is called the Devil and Satan,
who deceived the whole world,
was thrown down to earth,
and its angels were thrown down with it.
Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say:
"Now have salvation and power come,
and the Kingdom of our God
and the authority of his Anointed.
For the accuser of our brothers is cast out,
who accuses them before our God day and night.
They conquered him by the Blood of the Lamb
and by the word of their testimony;
love for life did not deter them from death.
Therefore, rejoice, you heavens,
and you who dwell in them."
Gospel Jn 1:47-51
Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward him and said of him,
"Here is a true child of Israel.
There is no duplicity in him."
Nathanael said to him, "How do you know me?"
Jesus answered and said to him,
"Before Philip called you, I saw you under the fig tree."
Nathanael answered him,
"Rabbi, you are the Son of God; you are the King of Israel."
Jesus answered and said to him,
"Do you believe
because I told you that I saw you under the fig tree?
You will see greater things than this."
And he said to him, "Amen, amen, I say to you,
you will see heaven opened
and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man."
"Here is a true child of Israel.
There is no duplicity in him."
Nathanael said to him, "How do you know me?"
Jesus answered and said to him,
"Before Philip called you, I saw you under the fig tree."
Nathanael answered him,
"Rabbi, you are the Son of God; you are the King of Israel."
Jesus answered and said to him,
"Do you believe
because I told you that I saw you under the fig tree?
You will see greater things than this."
And he said to him, "Amen, amen, I say to you,
you will see heaven opened
and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man."
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
maybe an epiphany
even though you think he made a mistake you need to verbally acknowledge ur behind him 100%.
so he knows its the both of u against the world first and foremost and that you'd get thru ur problems with each other and with others, together.
you live and learn. ;)
so he knows its the both of u against the world first and foremost and that you'd get thru ur problems with each other and with others, together.
you live and learn. ;)
Monday, September 26, 2011
unconditional love
what is martyrdom vs unconditional love, o god? giving your life for another, is it not the same?
maybe one day god, yes?
show me your words lord
maybe one day god, yes?
show me your words lord
at twenty eight
All my delight is in you Lord.
May your will be done for me.
Let me know when I am wrong.
I do not want to be set in my ways.
Although I do not want to regret not having tried my best,
it's all up to You.
Amen~
I had a patient who had 2 weeks left to live.
I made a commitment to God to make the best use of my life.
I love you God~
s/s heartbreak (graphic)
-intermittent diarrhea
-loss of appetite
-anhedonia
-flight of ideas
-loss of control
-sadness
-inability to cope
-inability to concentrate, focus, study
-loss of appetite
-anhedonia
-flight of ideas
-loss of control
-sadness
-inability to cope
-inability to concentrate, focus, study
put it in gods hands
if u love him youd go thru the fire
when he said, "will you marry me...?"
it meant heart strings attached to you and him primarily, only
no heart strings from u to his parents or your parents
all parents want is a great ROI
they will judge on how u take care of him as wife and yours will judge on how he provides for u as husband
-marcia
**i love you marcia. thanks for making me laugh always.
if u love him youd go thru the fire
when he said, "will you marry me...?"
it meant heart strings attached to you and him primarily, only
no heart strings from u to his parents or your parents
all parents want is a great ROI
they will judge on how u take care of him as wife and yours will judge on how he provides for u as husband
-marcia
**i love you marcia. thanks for making me laugh always.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
prayer
Jesus,
you are calling me to prayer.
i love you for being my God.
I cannot fathom the grace and mercy that you bestow upon us
your indomitable power is nothing that i can wrap my head around
there is no one else for me but You.
i will center my life around you and to only bring You praise.
i will cease all cursing, all daydreaming, all hurt
for You, my God.
we pray about healing too much without any action
no understanding, words without meaning.
without anyone to heal with, self-healing must suffice
"moving on from everything," isn't meant to throw me away
when you close my door o God, you open me a window
and for that I cannot give you enough love and praise for that
lord
in the time of my need, you are there to save me my God
you put out the fire to my anger
you make my heart still with peace
with the Holy Spirit
and with that I am at awe and forever amazed by You.
Amen
you are calling me to prayer.
i love you for being my God.
I cannot fathom the grace and mercy that you bestow upon us
your indomitable power is nothing that i can wrap my head around
there is no one else for me but You.
i will center my life around you and to only bring You praise.
i will cease all cursing, all daydreaming, all hurt
for You, my God.
we pray about healing too much without any action
no understanding, words without meaning.
without anyone to heal with, self-healing must suffice
"moving on from everything," isn't meant to throw me away
when you close my door o God, you open me a window
and for that I cannot give you enough love and praise for that
lord
in the time of my need, you are there to save me my God
you put out the fire to my anger
you make my heart still with peace
with the Holy Spirit
and with that I am at awe and forever amazed by You.
Amen
marriage retreat
of all the movies i choose to watch on netflix, i ended up with marriage retreat. great message, though acting left much to be desired. i understood every concept in the movie and even guessed what would happen in a majority of the scenes.
i realize my own failures, i have. but it was never enough because he could not realize his. (why do i feel an impending sense of de ja vu?)
it may be bold and possibly foolish to say this, but truth be told: i was let down by the guy who was to be my husband.
swallowing defeat will never be easy. i need to take life one day at a time... to blossom again in God's love...His never ending unceasing love that pulsates through my core.
i believe that one day, my life will accelerate at full speed. everything will fall into place with His mercy and kindness.
i only want Your love oh Lord, i only want to be obedient to my parents and to You now. i love you God...amen
i realize my own failures, i have. but it was never enough because he could not realize his. (why do i feel an impending sense of de ja vu?)
it may be bold and possibly foolish to say this, but truth be told: i was let down by the guy who was to be my husband.
swallowing defeat will never be easy. i need to take life one day at a time... to blossom again in God's love...His never ending unceasing love that pulsates through my core.
i believe that one day, my life will accelerate at full speed. everything will fall into place with His mercy and kindness.
i only want Your love oh Lord, i only want to be obedient to my parents and to You now. i love you God...amen
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
what love really means?
He cries in the corner where nobody sees
He’s the kid with the story no one would believe
He prays every night “Dear God won’t you please...
Could you send someone here who will love me?”
Who will love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means, what love really means
Her office is shrinking a little each day
She’s the woman whose husband has run away
She’ll go to the gym after working today
Maybe if she was thinner then he would’ve stayed
And she says…
Who'll love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means what love really means
He’s waiting to die as he sits all alone
He’s a man in a cell who regrets what he’s done
He utters a cry from the depths of his soul
“Oh Lord, forgive me. I wanna go home”
Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside
And it said “I know you’ve murdered
And I know you’ve lied
And I've watched you suffer all of your life
And now that you'll listen I'll tell you that I...”
I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love, the love that you never knew
Love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love, the love that you never knew
-jj heller
***i loved him for what he was but he let my parents get to him. he couldn't get over it and demanded that i do something. i had a plan - to marry him, just the both of us - but he didn't want that.***
He’s the kid with the story no one would believe
He prays every night “Dear God won’t you please...
Could you send someone here who will love me?”
Who will love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means, what love really means
Her office is shrinking a little each day
She’s the woman whose husband has run away
She’ll go to the gym after working today
Maybe if she was thinner then he would’ve stayed
And she says…
Who'll love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means what love really means
He’s waiting to die as he sits all alone
He’s a man in a cell who regrets what he’s done
He utters a cry from the depths of his soul
“Oh Lord, forgive me. I wanna go home”
Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside
And it said “I know you’ve murdered
And I know you’ve lied
And I've watched you suffer all of your life
And now that you'll listen I'll tell you that I...”
I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love, the love that you never knew
Love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love, the love that you never knew
-jj heller
***i loved him for what he was but he let my parents get to him. he couldn't get over it and demanded that i do something. i had a plan - to marry him, just the both of us - but he didn't want that.***
foreignonimities
its not a matter of undoing, but a matter of cutting through and breaking apart and finding new skin a new body a new me, but can never be new again, it was never mine to begin with and my body feels foreign, unknown and not mine. when you choose to give it up, there's no going back. unless you can give it up multiple times until you turn to dust.
i dont know where to start i dont know what to do i don't know what to think or feel or focus on. so i will just default to: +, a longer cross.
i will never be the same. i will always be different. i will be alone.
i dont know where to start i dont know what to do i don't know what to think or feel or focus on. so i will just default to: +, a longer cross.
i will never be the same. i will always be different. i will be alone.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
it doesnt matter anymore
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
a departure from the expected
today, i wore my kimono blouse and my hair long to school. i found out also that the lady i'm having issues with at school is leaving ccbc. i'm going out for drinks and karaoke tonight. i'm writing up my resume to start in the OR, newborn nursery or clinical research. i was daydreaming earlier about giving medical marijuana to my cancer patients. haha. triaged a couple of honors students conked out already by redbull and the workload. life keeps changing. you just keep chugging along. and when you are no longer sad, you know you are growing in faith, temperance, understanding, love and patience. ...never lose hope. it will take a while, but i must focus on pushing the bad thoughts away and purging the hurt.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
It's been a long time since I came around.
It's been a long time but I'm back in town.
And this time I'm not leaving without you.
You taste like whiskey when you kiss me, oh
I'll give anything again to be your baby doll.
Yeah, this time I'm not leaving without you.
You said "Sit back down where you belong;
In the corner of my bar with your high heels on."
Sit back down on the couch where we
made love the first time and you said to me,
"There's something, something about this place."
Something 'bout lonely nights and my lipstick on your face.
Something, something about my cool Nebraska guy.
Yeah, something 'bout, baby, you and I.
It's been two years since I let you go.
I couldn't listen to a joke or rock and roll.
Your muscle cars drove a truck right through my heart.
On my birthday you sang me a Heart of Gold
with a guitar humming and no clothes.
This time I'm not leaving without you.
You said "Sit back down where you belong;
In the corner of my bar with your high heels on."
Sit back down on the couch where we
made love the first time and you said to me,
"There's something, something about this place."
Something 'bout lonely nights and my lipstick on your face.
Something, something about my cool Nebraska guy.
Yeah, something 'bout, baby, you and I.
You and I.
You, you and I.
I'd rather die
Without You and I.
You, you and I.
You and I.
You, You and I.
You, you and I.
You, you and I.
You said "Sit back down where you belong;
In the corner of my bar with your high heels on."
Sit back down on the couch where we
made love the first time and you said to me,
'There's something, something about this place.
Something about lonely nights and my lipstick on your face.
Something, something about my cool Nebraska guy.
There's something about, baby, you and I.
You and I.
You and I.
You, you and I.
You, you and I.
You and I.
You, you and I.
You, you and I.
You, you and I.
It's been a long time since I came around.
It's been a long time but I'm back in town.
And this time I'm not leaving without you.
***brings me to my happy place. screaming at the top of my lungs, this song.
off to go drinking. the longer im not home, the easier i can breathe.
how to love
[Intro]
Cut the music up
A little louder..
[Hook]
You had a lot of crooks tryna steal your heart
Never really had luck, couldn’t never figure out
How to love, how to love
You had a lot of moments that didn’t last forever
Now you in a corner tryna put it together
How to love, how to love
For a second you were here, now you over there
It's hard not to stare the way you moving your body
Like you never had a love, never had a love
[Verse 1]
When you is just a young’un your looks were so precious
But now your grown up, so fly its like a blessing
But you can’t have a man look at you for five seconds
Without you being insecure
You never credit yourself so when you got older
It’s seems like you came back ten times over
Now you’re sitting here in this damn corner
Looking through all your thoughts and looking over your shoulder
[Hook]
[Verse 2]
You had a lot of dreams that transform to visions
The fact that you saw the world affected all your decisions
But it wasn’t your fault, wasn’t in your intentions
To be the one here talking to me, be the one listening
But I admire your poppin bottles and dippin’
Just as much as you admire bartending and stripping
Baby, so don’t be mad, nobody else trippin
You see a lot of crooks and crooks still crook
[Hook]
[Bridge]
See I just want you to know that you deserve the best
You’re beautiful, you’re beautiful
Yeah, and I want you to know
You’re far from the usual, far from the usual
i love this video.
...i secretly wish he had left me pregnant with his child.
last night
was watching this movie yesterday before breaking up with my ex. it was called "last night," and starred keira knightley, sam worthington, eva mendes and some cute french guy. keira and sam are happily married but both of them experience temptation one night they're not together. it's titillating to see their reactions, awkward silences, raw emotions and the ultimate decisions they make.
i mean, it seemed like keira and sam's life together was near perfect. but you can never say who will be loyal, truthful or genuine.
i mean, it seemed like keira and sam's life together was near perfect. but you can never say who will be loyal, truthful or genuine.
took hostage of my future life
contingent on one action
gave up in anger
threw it all away
none of it was ever real
none of it lasted
none of it will ever exist
none of it was for you
so start picking up the pieces
build that wall
bring back the anonymity
recreate yourself
bury the past
be thankful of the lesson
turn to god for direction
dont get lost in the darkness
believe in hope
run away
contingent on one action
gave up in anger
threw it all away
none of it was ever real
none of it lasted
none of it will ever exist
none of it was for you
so start picking up the pieces
build that wall
bring back the anonymity
recreate yourself
bury the past
be thankful of the lesson
turn to god for direction
dont get lost in the darkness
believe in hope
run away
maningning's words
Ginugunita Kita #2
Marikit na tala ang tanglaw sa dilim,
Sa halimuyak ng matamis na hangin,
Sa gubat ng gabi ay hinihintay ko,
Mga kislap ng nilimot na pangako.
Habang may hapdi ang sugat ng kahapon,
Di maalpasan ang diwang nakakahon,
Inaawit ang kundiman ng pagsinta
Sa dalamhati ng pusong umaasa.
Ginuguni-gunita kita,
Binubuo sa alaala.
Pinapanga-pangarap ka,
Inuukit sa haraya.
Ang Naliligaw
Naliligaw ako sa paglalakbay,
Naliligaw sa kahahanap,
Naliligaw at hindi malaman
kung paano ba makabalik sa Oxford Street.
Naliligaw sa pamamasyal,
Hindi maintindihan ang mapa,
Hindi malaman kung bakit
Nandirito na naman sa Charing Cross.
Kaya umupo na lang sa Trafalgar Square,
Namulot ng balahibo ng kalapati,
Pero tinapon rin dahil mukhang marumi,
Mukhang maalikabok ang pakpak na nahuli.
Umikot na lang sa paligid,
Pinanood ang gusali,
Pinag-aralan ang kilos ng ibang turista,
Umikot at nag-isip, at naisip kita.
Naisip kita at inisip kita,
At bumalik ako sa National Gallery.
Pumunta sa West Wing,
At doon, tumulala ako.
Naliligaw sa kalalakad,
na parang isang feather ng pakpak,
na hindi na makabalik sa ulap,
at hindi na makasama sa paglipad.
Buti na lang naisip ka
sa aking pagkaligaw,
Iniisip na mapapansin mo
ang ulap sa 'yong paglalakbay.
At ninais na isipin ka
habang nakatulala kay Titian,
kay Bronzino at kay Michaelangelo,
at pinili kong isipin ka.
Pinili kong isipin ka,
sa paglalakbay at sa pagkaligaw.
Sa paghahanap ay nadarama ko:
Mahal, mahal na mahal kita.
Marikit na tala ang tanglaw sa dilim,
Sa halimuyak ng matamis na hangin,
Sa gubat ng gabi ay hinihintay ko,
Mga kislap ng nilimot na pangako.
Habang may hapdi ang sugat ng kahapon,
Di maalpasan ang diwang nakakahon,
Inaawit ang kundiman ng pagsinta
Sa dalamhati ng pusong umaasa.
Ginuguni-gunita kita,
Binubuo sa alaala.
Pinapanga-pangarap ka,
Inuukit sa haraya.
Ang Naliligaw
Naliligaw ako sa paglalakbay,
Naliligaw sa kahahanap,
Naliligaw at hindi malaman
kung paano ba makabalik sa Oxford Street.
Naliligaw sa pamamasyal,
Hindi maintindihan ang mapa,
Hindi malaman kung bakit
Nandirito na naman sa Charing Cross.
Kaya umupo na lang sa Trafalgar Square,
Namulot ng balahibo ng kalapati,
Pero tinapon rin dahil mukhang marumi,
Mukhang maalikabok ang pakpak na nahuli.
Umikot na lang sa paligid,
Pinanood ang gusali,
Pinag-aralan ang kilos ng ibang turista,
Umikot at nag-isip, at naisip kita.
Naisip kita at inisip kita,
At bumalik ako sa National Gallery.
Pumunta sa West Wing,
At doon, tumulala ako.
Naliligaw sa kalalakad,
na parang isang feather ng pakpak,
na hindi na makabalik sa ulap,
at hindi na makasama sa paglipad.
Buti na lang naisip ka
sa aking pagkaligaw,
Iniisip na mapapansin mo
ang ulap sa 'yong paglalakbay.
At ninais na isipin ka
habang nakatulala kay Titian,
kay Bronzino at kay Michaelangelo,
at pinili kong isipin ka.
Pinili kong isipin ka,
sa paglalakbay at sa pagkaligaw.
Sa paghahanap ay nadarama ko:
Mahal, mahal na mahal kita.
if he loved you, he'd understand the situation and compromise for the both of you.
if he loved you, he'd go the ends of the earth in search of your love.
if you loved him, you'd follow him down any trodden path, no matter how xomplicated it gets.
if you loved him, you'd listen to everything he said.
if you loved him, you'd fight for him.
if not, breakups are never easy. they are always difficult. anger clouds judgment. and satan loves hatred.
this is how imperfect we are.
if he loved you, he'd go the ends of the earth in search of your love.
if you loved him, you'd follow him down any trodden path, no matter how xomplicated it gets.
if you loved him, you'd listen to everything he said.
if you loved him, you'd fight for him.
if not, breakups are never easy. they are always difficult. anger clouds judgment. and satan loves hatred.
this is how imperfect we are.
prayer for healing
"Saint Jude, we have problems in our relationship. Beg Almighty God to give us the light to see ourselves and each other as we really are. Help us to grow daily in self-knowledge and mutual love, while at the same time developing our potential to love and be loved. Help us, Saint Jude, to see and root out every manifestation of selfishness, vanity, and childish self-seeking -- those hidden enemies of love and maturity. Show us that by learning to love and being filled with love, we may complement and nurture each other as we share our lives together."
i woke up all of a sudden and bumped my head on the light fixture. it was 347a. it didn't take too long for the grief to overcome me. i welcomed the physical aches and pains. the emptiness and my thorough disdain for long and unyielding extended engagements. just think, how my life could have have been, given the butterfly effect. just one tiny butterfly sacrificed for my sake, what would happen?
(remembering how he would stare at my face when i would pretend to close my eyes. such inner peace i felt then. how blessed the moment.)
i flinch as i remember 1cor 13. enrage courses through my body. i feel robbed. i throw away the love dare book as it mockingly stares back at me. i was 1/2 thru.
how unfortunate the circumstances of life are. broken hearts relinquish hope.
i woke up from cycling dreams. i was giving a puppy an iv. he was giving our friend (she always comes up as a symbol of a current flame) a christmas gift. how fleeting life is. hot liquid flows thru my eyes. toes curled. asthma sets in. my flame is extinguished.
unbelievably so, i still love him. blood is thicker than water and i never knew i loved my family that much till now. i fought for him but he wanted me to deny my parents like that. it took a structural engineer to break down my walls and my being. all that's left are my bones - and love, reborn phoenix-style.
**dear god, now it's just you and me. please guide me to find my path and my calling. you are my roxk, my beginning and my end, to you do i offer my tears. set my anguish free. keep me safe. keep him safe. amen.**
(remembering how he would stare at my face when i would pretend to close my eyes. such inner peace i felt then. how blessed the moment.)
i flinch as i remember 1cor 13. enrage courses through my body. i feel robbed. i throw away the love dare book as it mockingly stares back at me. i was 1/2 thru.
how unfortunate the circumstances of life are. broken hearts relinquish hope.
i woke up from cycling dreams. i was giving a puppy an iv. he was giving our friend (she always comes up as a symbol of a current flame) a christmas gift. how fleeting life is. hot liquid flows thru my eyes. toes curled. asthma sets in. my flame is extinguished.
unbelievably so, i still love him. blood is thicker than water and i never knew i loved my family that much till now. i fought for him but he wanted me to deny my parents like that. it took a structural engineer to break down my walls and my being. all that's left are my bones - and love, reborn phoenix-style.
**dear god, now it's just you and me. please guide me to find my path and my calling. you are my roxk, my beginning and my end, to you do i offer my tears. set my anguish free. keep me safe. keep him safe. amen.**
Saturday, September 17, 2011
non-apologetic
i feel free-flowing sadness. i find my phone empty and useless. not just a sense of mourning, loneliness, anger, love, resentment, fear and regret - today marks a turning point in my life.
before, we made it thru our issues. it was great. he wss very loving, kind, upbeat, generous and caring.
it's funny how he has the gall to give your engagement an "ultimatum." what the hell kind of word is that, anyways? "i need world peace in the form of our parents both getting along to happen before we get married so i can find my true happiness." my reply could either go one of both ways: "would you like fries with that?" or "kiss my ass no way of that happening because of your prissy/scrappy attitude and non-apologetic behavior."
that rarely happens in real life.
i have given you so much of myself. not complaining- but i guess it wasn't enough. you wouldn't even take the idea of just us two getting married. you want the whole fairytale package. sometimes i wish i could have been all my family members- so you could like and get along with us. i guess i'm not enough for you to even overshadow all the challenges my mom and you have.
my mom only wanted the best for me. she had the right to question your intent, even after the fact. it happens to everybody.
if you had respect for your future MIL, you would have the decency to heed her wish to not invite her sister who accuses her of many grave things to our wedding - even if she was your aunt - not put salt on her wounds by force inviting her. she was really hurt when you did that. you just had to butt in with a topacio fight. you have never seen a confrontation and you never want to. you repeatedly misconstrue my mother's avoidance of talking with teng as pride. but no, it's ironically for peace. teng came to our house once, not to apologize but to act all haughty and act up again. oh well, that doesn't matter anymore now, huh?
words are provoked by actions.
if you were genuinely nice, you would sweep any animosity with your future mil, under the rug and not drag it out. you would be chill and fly under the radar for the sake of the one you love(d).
if you demand your future mil to say sorry and thank you to you all the time, maybe i should print out those words and laminate it.
so many ifs. but i'm not surprised this happened, knowing you. hard-headed, over-analytical, immature, over-bearing at times. rarely takes constructive criticism. his way or the highway. maybe it's a blessing in disguise we never got married.
maybe i pray not for you to understand where i'm coming from, but for you to have the life afforded to you by God, with whomever you deserve.
before, we made it thru our issues. it was great. he wss very loving, kind, upbeat, generous and caring.
it's funny how he has the gall to give your engagement an "ultimatum." what the hell kind of word is that, anyways? "i need world peace in the form of our parents both getting along to happen before we get married so i can find my true happiness." my reply could either go one of both ways: "would you like fries with that?" or "kiss my ass no way of that happening because of your prissy/scrappy attitude and non-apologetic behavior."
that rarely happens in real life.
i have given you so much of myself. not complaining- but i guess it wasn't enough. you wouldn't even take the idea of just us two getting married. you want the whole fairytale package. sometimes i wish i could have been all my family members- so you could like and get along with us. i guess i'm not enough for you to even overshadow all the challenges my mom and you have.
my mom only wanted the best for me. she had the right to question your intent, even after the fact. it happens to everybody.
if you had respect for your future MIL, you would have the decency to heed her wish to not invite her sister who accuses her of many grave things to our wedding - even if she was your aunt - not put salt on her wounds by force inviting her. she was really hurt when you did that. you just had to butt in with a topacio fight. you have never seen a confrontation and you never want to. you repeatedly misconstrue my mother's avoidance of talking with teng as pride. but no, it's ironically for peace. teng came to our house once, not to apologize but to act all haughty and act up again. oh well, that doesn't matter anymore now, huh?
words are provoked by actions.
if you were genuinely nice, you would sweep any animosity with your future mil, under the rug and not drag it out. you would be chill and fly under the radar for the sake of the one you love(d).
if you demand your future mil to say sorry and thank you to you all the time, maybe i should print out those words and laminate it.
so many ifs. but i'm not surprised this happened, knowing you. hard-headed, over-analytical, immature, over-bearing at times. rarely takes constructive criticism. his way or the highway. maybe it's a blessing in disguise we never got married.
maybe i pray not for you to understand where i'm coming from, but for you to have the life afforded to you by God, with whomever you deserve.
back to the drawing board
he wanted healing from both sides before marriage.
we had so many great times together...
but it all comes down to whether you can work harmoniously together or not despite the parental/familial issues and keep demands to a zero.
he never trusted that it would only come after we were married
- when we could freely advocate for it together, as one unit.
we had so many great times together...
but it all comes down to whether you can work harmoniously together or not despite the parental/familial issues and keep demands to a zero.
*importante talaga ang makahanap ng marunong lumambing sa mother-in-law.
importante din na maayos ang communication niyong dalawa with regards to parents.
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