Back to Him

i turn to the light   ---

the light flickers

inside my brain

i am taken back

where the black hole of my insanity

reverberates into my consciousness

i swim out from underneath the weight of you


cut ---

to my dream.

you let go of my hand

in slow motion

as your smile got wider

the hole in my heart got bigger

and i could not breathe all of a sudden



cut ---

it was all a show

and i was on stage unknowing of the reality

that lay in front of me

i was blinking back at the audience

who inadvertently gasped when

my wedding dress cut to shreds

till i was naked

and bleeding from that hole


cut ---

two months later

i am holding this wildflower

windswept and pretty

different


i turn to the east

squinting at the morning sun

i talk to God.

He asks, "My child, what do you know of promises?"

I say, "God, I only know that they can easily be broken by man."

"Daughter, what about my promise to you?"(Jeremiah 29: 11-13)

"You're different God, I only look to you and will live in your promise, in Your never-ending love. I look to the east, and you are smiling down on me. I find my back against the wall, and you are there to save me. I am distraught, and one touch, you comfort me. I cannot afford to walk away from you, God. Thank you for being my true rock."